The Double Bind, Truth of the Wilderness and War.
I was listening to Alan Watts a few years ago and he brought up the double bind. I had never heard of this social thing and when he explained it I laughed and cried. Watts was a Catholic Priest turned Zen Monk. Common double binds I know are follow your dreams….as long as they are approved by your parents, society etc. From the Wikipedia here is a better definition; The double bind occurs when the person cannot confront the inherent dilemma, and therefore can neither resolve it nor opt out of the situation. You can only really love if you do it freely and you must love your parents. Another message of loose-loose.
I think about this often since first hearing of it and realize it is a large piece of the stress in my life and social confusion. Control yourself and be natural. As I ponder the draw of the wilderness or other escapist ideas I wondered what about it pulls at me. I wonder why daily life can be so damn frustrating, even now living in the utopia. I wonder why I am so drawn to the arts of combat, Nami Ryu, Shinbukan, etc.
I remember once years ago when I was stressed to the max. I had 14 people working under me, I worked 70-hour weeks for more than 5 years, millions of dollars on the line, and I was in charge of a project that had never been done before. Our patent was just approved by the US patent office in May 2018. I was also getting a divorce. Trying to please everyone senior to me was killing me. I was on the phone with my father and said to him “I think it would be less stressful to be in a war zone right now. At least that would be simple. Shoot the person shooting at you.” I believe this is some of the draw, the simplicity of it. Society has so many double binds your are sure to loose.
I think the wilderness is the same way. Mother nature just is. There is no mystery in the woods. It is simple, survive by any means necessary.
I believe more and more this is the draw of Nami Ryu and Shinbukan to me. You either move correctly or you don’t. You either break your opponent’s center or you don’t. Your opponent can never be wrong. Though incredibly frustrating at times at least there is honesty and clarity in these sword arts. There are few other things in life so honest and clear. In Nami Ryu everything I do works, or it doesn’t. The higher quality of movement I can obtain and program my body with, the more it will work. There is no double bind here and it is a great thing. Though the truth can hurt and be often frustrating, it is crystal clear whether a technique or movement worked or not. I begin to play and learn that I can do anything I want and there is no longer a right or wrong technique, there is just a result. I live, or I die. This is the same as the wilderness and this is the same as war. This is a way to be honest with myself, to cut away the things that are not crystal clear, to cut out double binds and other confusion. This allows me to see the world in the context of the sword and to see everything as an attack to my body and that I can do anything to defend against the attack.
How can I move in life without being stuck? How do I run my dojo and get more students? How can I connect to students? Why the hell do people do BJJ or MMA and think they are anything but sport? Why are we all brought up to lie to ourselves? These are questions on my mind to which I have no answers, or at least nothing worth sharing. I only know what I am doing is not working now. I am stuck on these questions. I am stuck in places I have yet to find. I am sure of it. Even writing this newsletter there is a voice in the back of my head saying don’t put ‘’war’’ in the title, someone may be upset. Other social rules or double binds are all over my shit as I write this. I can go on and on and a few of my friends know and my older brother knows. Also, I know what works for me will probably not work for you and vice versa. At least knowing the double bind is there keeps me laughing and at least I can avoid the double bind with my friends, fiancé, and training.
Not bored yet? Here is a link to more on the double bind.
Here is a talk by Alan Watts on it as well. Click.